The start of something new

Why do we like to hurt so much?

We can't help ourselves. We see a line, we want to cross it. Maybe it's the thrill of trading something familiar for the unfamiliar. A sort of personal dare.
The only problem is, once you've crossed, it's almost impossible to go back. But if you do not manage to make it back across that line, you'll find safety in numbers- in your friends. They'll be there for you to help you through that rough phase.

Do you know I can't remember the last time we spent together, the plain conversations and jokes we shared, just the two of us?
Because you'd never know the last time would be the last time. You think there would be more. You think you have forever, but you don't.

Plus, my conditioner's decided to stop working, so my even my hair doesn't give me that bit of comfort which I used to have.

I just..need something to happen. I need a sign that things are going to change, a reason to go on, I need some hope. I need to know that although you say we're friends, that we'd work it out, and we'll make it better, and maybe, just maybe, over time, we'll work on it to let it be back to what it was. I need to know that there we BOTH, would give it our best.

shobzybee~hugsnsqueezesnchocolatecherrykisses~

The Curtains Close

My bio girls,
Joyce, Zoey, Pao


The group,
Rids, Tanisha, Mike, Amritaraj, Ad


The bestie,
Shra


The best friend,
Goh


My two good friends,
Mike and Kev


The sweetheart girlfriend,
Fel

The sweetest friends,
Kayshaan and Amrits


The lawa girlfriend
Wawa


The 'sexist' bio lab partner,
Ad


The comical bio lab and EALD group

 

I've come undone

Shobs is officially done with externals

So tell me what to do

To-Do List:

• Wait for Shra to finish her Applics paper tomorrow
• Clean room
• Buy dress for Awards Night
• French manicure
• Await Lokzhashini Nimisha Pulandran's arrival home
• Meet up with bunchos
• Watch Madagascar 2, Bangkok Dangerous, Double-Oh-Seven
• Meet Miss Vanitha and Mr Pathma to confirm details of awards night
• Meet up with fellow friends to do the VP for awards night
• Have a sleep over
• Garra Rufa
• Print out balance of 2007 photos and 2008 photos
• Buy a photo album for 2008
• Shopping
• Rock climbing
• Trip to PD
• Trip to Singapore

Kubhan made me realise that the Biology paper which I sat for would be the very last exam which I'd sit for in Malaysia. And to be honest, I'm pretty upset about it.

But heck, Externals are over. Time to party hard core Malaysian style, baybeh (;

Will definitely miss AUSMAT though.

2008- An absolutely great year filled with memories of the laughs and the tears, the ups and the downs that everyone endured together. Will miss everyone loads.

Next event: AUSMAT AWARDS NIGHT 2008

shobzybee~lookingforwardtotheholidays?~

In my desperate endeavor

"Some people don't like telling the whole truth"

"Well, I don't get why people have to do that"

"I don't know. Maybe it's because they're proud. Maybe it's cos they're scared. Maybe, it's because telling the truth will make themselves feel more vulnerable than they already are"

When hearing those sentences of which JD and Turk exchanged on Scrubs, I couldn't help but agree on how true that statement was.

And it made me realise why I covered up, didn't tell you the truth- that would be exactly why.

I already felt vulnerable at that particular moment in time; I didn't want to feel it even more. I didn't want to tell you because I was scared. Scared of getting both of us more confused and messed up again. Scared of that incident. Scared of losing you.

I lay on my bed this afternoon, trying to think of all the alternatives which I could have picked, and what the outcome would have been.

And to be honest, I think it would have ended up exactly as what it is now. With you not talking to me, hurt by what I did, and with me hurt by hurting you.

Then I realised that I'm the kind of girl who is so afraid of her past, that whenever she gets too close to someone, she always puts her guard up, and takes the safest bet. She would try all means to preserve the friendship, to not lose that person, even if it meant covering up a mistake that she should not have made and which she should have been honest for. However by those means, she only ends up driving that person further away from her.

I'm so sorry, I really am. I ask of you, do find it in your heart to forgive me.

I'll be here, waiting. For your forgiveness.

I've done something so terrible
I'm terrified to speak
But you'd expect that from me
I'm mixed up, I'll be blunt

shobzybee~thetearscan'tstoppouringdownonme~